ok so i just woke up 30 minuntes ago and its late. i woke up not liking this day. it started not the way i like it. i hate all i see and all i can say is "no." i feel like going outside and spend sometime alone. but its so freaking cold....
i may claim that i want to be alone, though sometimes yes, but the truth is i wanna spend this lazy day with someone close to my heart so i can have a reason to get up and get moving...
{ music } david tray
Written by RBielle at 05:48 PM.
hi ker! hope you received my gift! hahaha.. i'm so sorry
it's so simple.. bawi ako sayo next time. but here's what comes with that
precious green life.
________________________________________________________________________________________ :)
we've been through a lot. like a lot i cannot remember all
the events but the feelings and sentiments that i had have and will carry for
long time, it might not have an end.
like a fragile living creature, we are nourishing this bond
of friendship between us and it had grown and still growing, even more
wonderful, that distance is nothing but numbers for us. Looking back, I feel
this pleasant warmth emerging in me. I love it so much it is addicting. This
thing of “no-word-to-describe-or-name” has been brought in me from you, from
us. It is something I love holding on to and will never let go. This thing I got
from the days of ups and downs we had for the past 7 years. I hold those days
so dear to me. Something to look back to in my solitude. This friendship I cherish
like a plant I love and can’t help tending to. I cannot afford to lose it or
else it might send me to darkness.
Like the roots of a plant, this friendship is nourishing me
with what you offer – love that’s branching to many a miles. You might not even
know what it is but I thank you for it.
Like a stem, you hold me up. This friendship I hold on to. If
we were a tree, its trunk is as precious as the mahogany or narra tree. If we
were bamboos, we could withstand the strongest of the strongest wind blows.
Like branches of a plant, you reach through the many facets
of me no matter how unpleasant it is. This friendship allowed me to branch out
to the unknown dimensions of me.
Like the leaves rustling in a cold windy night, I love
listening to you. It’s like a trance or place I can escape to. Like a leaf, so
light, I feel when I’m with you.
Like a flower, it brings smile and joy in me. Like a flower,
this friendship grew naturally and wonderfully amazing. We went through lots of
rains and here we have now a flower outstanding the most expensive tulips in
the universe.
Like a fruit, I enjoy the organic sweetness of this. It’s
like eating watermelon or cherry or mangoes with “alamang”. Not just the
sweetness of this but the nourishment this offers.
I learned I lot from you and I hope you’ve learn something from me too. I hope I’ve been a good best friend to you like you’ve been to me. No words can express how grateful I am for having you through it all. I hope we will have more to come.
________________________________________________________________________________________ <3
Congratulations to us! I LOVE YOU AND I MISS YOU SO
MUCH! Take care always!
{ mood } overwhelmed
Written by RBielle at 05:06 PM.
it is like the sky has suddenly turned gray.
i waited for it to clear but it it never did that day.
i watched the rain pour on my window... my plans can`t be pursued with this kind of weather and yet i try to keep hope with me though it`s a little bit far away. the leaves of the tress are starting to turn as the color of the sun and soon they`ll will have the color of my native land. that i see as i stare through my wet and cold window. and i feel as if i`ve seen the sun shine upon me somewhere in that corner. in that cold, gray, and rainy day i saw a little bit of blue sky and felt a sting of warmth from the sun. i was amazed of how could that be. how could that strange image see through in me? i felt like touching that image to see if it's real; to get through all sins just to believe it is real...
Written by RBielle at 02:36 AM.
in my dream, i was dreaming about you so close to me that i can hear you breathing. just like those days when i stay overnight in your home. and then i woke up from that dream in my dream and found myself in cairo, egypt.
i woke up in reality with a sigh...
i miss you... =(
Written by RBielle at 07:44 PM.
i am trying to feel good today despite everything that had happened in the past few hours of my day. basically, i started the day good with a pretty much decent brunch that i, myself, cooked. i had 2 poached egg and buttered bread and a glass of milk. all is well. after that, read and watched a little and went back to bed for a nap just before i get to chaos world of work again. really, i like this totally different "i-am-not-used-to" work environment. or you could say i love the "working" environment. i need it right now for me not to go insane and just to feel safe. something to get busy about. it's better than to do nothing and laze around at home. plus, i get to see people and some salary to buy myself a treat. moreover, i get to escape from thinking some other stuff or should i say i get to think for something. gotta have my brain and body move though it is really tiring.
i arrived late to work despite my 45 minutes allowance to get there. it's supposed to be only 30 min. or less to get there but due to the metro/train malfunction (they say it's because of suicides and such stuff), i was late for an hour. and when i arrived there, i found the place so messed up with no ice to use for the drinks in this 30 degrees weather, no glasses washed, dried, and stacked properly, no lemonade and iced tea pichers prepared, and a completely messed terrace where the tables are so not ready with no table clothes on it and other paraphernalias for the customer. usually, i am working with my sister but today, i worked with my cousin, whose parents own the resto, and she's not so effective i can say. i don't want to get my hopes down for her. i can't blame her. she doesn't really like to work there. that's just the way she is. and despite that, she's forcing helself, like her dad is forcing her, to work and i can see that she's making a progress though really slow. i know she had sacrificed a lot from her social life just to work in that place of chaos and i can see and appreciate it. the problem is his dad, my boss. he's paranoid and crazy. like today, i told my cousin to take over the tables as i wash the dishes. she's doing fine until the boss came and saw 2 customers leaving. she tried to explain to her that it was not her or my fault that they left. they we're entertained and everything! it's just that they didn't found the menu appealing for their appetite and so they leave. the boss, cos he's paranoid, did the talking again "blah blah blah... why is it like this... why like that.. why their leaving... you're not watching the business..." and some other shit. and then he called me and talked that matter to me. he told me i am not to do the dishes so i can watch the tables. clearly, he doesn't understand the situation. and some other stuff came from his mouth. i just nodded and answered politely as i should so not to aggravate the situation. i let him vent out whatever he can say. i don't really care. i just cant afford to sulk over stuffs like that. not worthy of my full attention. just not worth it. plus he's the boss and his job is to talk.
i wasn't really affected by what happened. i just pitied my cousin. she looks stressed out and getting thinner. her mom, my aunt, left 2 weeks ago to the philippines. i wonder if she's resting and eating well. plus she's under this pressure from his dad! she looked at me after that "talk" and said sorry and i said it's ok. she looks exhausted...
me? well i'm tired and still up 2 am reading sarah dessen. i'm thinking of what to do tomorrow besides doing the laundry and maybe going downtown to buy another sarah dessen book and grab a coffee on my way home. it's my off anyway.
and, yeah, nobody gets to listen to me here really even my sister. she's busy with her own friends and other stuff. plus she's not the same as me. maybe she finds me boring. i miss my bestfriend. this times are the time that i feel so alone yet trying to get up on my own feet... a new friend would be of use to me right now. just someone to hang out with. =(
{ book } the truth about forever by sarah dessen
Written by RBielle at 02:04 AM.